Love? Never.

*Content copied from facebook*
Credits: Vanshita Singh (The anonymous writer)
Link: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1087762054596163&id=448423011863407

Love? No, never again. Heartbreaks change people; it changes different people in different ways. I'm not saying I'll never get over it; I will, someday, maybe. From not being able even breath without him, to realizing that he can never be mine, to coming to the acceptance of the same, to regretting every effort I made, and to finally mourning about the fact that I tried, I've covered more than half of the distance. Now, I don't think any love exists in me, just an accumulated mass of disgusting feelings of regret exist inside my heart, which haunts me.

How could I go to that extent? Didn't I have respect for myself?

Actually, I did have respect for myself, a lot of respect; but my love for you was fiery, so fiery that it burned every other feeling inside me; but, when the fire started to extinguish, slowly and gradually, I was able to see things clearly. I could see myself doing everything, I shouldn't have; and now, nothing is left except regret. Oh, love? It was long lost. Also, I don't want love anymore. I want to walk away, get rid of all this, and never fall into this trap again. The word 'love' has started to create a feeling of disgust in me, filthy disgust.

I want to get out of all this, breathe fresher air, move on. I want to have the type of life where I'm not emotionally dependent on anybody, where I am all by myself, where there exists no human who has the power to hurt me in any way.

Yes, that's what I really desire.

- Vanshita Singh

This was the best anyone could have wrote.
Vanshita, applause!

#iamvish

Sunshine after Rains!

Sitting alone in my room watching this sunlight falling on me after rains, my heart feels revived. It's like rising from ashes into something better than before. That feeling of owning yourself is precious. Smiling to yourself while looking out of the window makes me feel what the real me was; outgoing, fun loving but still reserved.
Sometimes, life is about doing things which may hurt you, because they aren't in your comfort zone,  but you need to do them in order to stay the way you were born and destined!

People do change!

They say, situations change people don't! But today I felt, people do change. And the moment you realise that a person has changed, you also realise that you yourself have also changed.

Today a very normal incident happened. I met one very old friend of mine coincidentally.  There was a time when we were best friends. We knew all secrets all loopholes of one another. Then things changed and we drifted apart. After a long while we met. In the first instance, I was clueless about what to speak or where to stare. I didn't  even knew if to behave like a close buddy or like some regular person or like a stranger. As we spoke, we realised we are no longer the same persons we used to be. He changed, and after that I found my change too. Both changed for the better ofcourse, but things can't be the way they were somewhere in the past. Maybe that's why they are termed memories. I miss them but I don't wnt them back in my life.
This is a mature girl speaking. This is Growing up.

#iamvish

:: Gehraayi

(blogging in hinglish)

Hindi chhore arsa beet gya hai..par aaj bhi agar dil se kch kehna ho toh hindi ke alawa kch nahi sochti hu... aj bethe bethe yu hi bas kch yad aaya... aur ab me use likh ri hu... 

A poem titled - 'Gehraayi' 

 Dekha asmaan mein maine,

Ek din yu hi bethe bethe,

Dekha uski vishalta ko, 

Do ankho mein simat te.

Us asmaan ko chamakte dekha,

Kabhi kabhi bujha bujha bhi dekha,

Uski garaj se lekar, 

Uska sukoon, sab dekha. 

Un taaron ko timtimate bhi dekha,

Unko tut te bante bhi dekha,

Par beh chale mere ansu,

Jis din mene usko baraste dekha.

Yeh asmaan bohot gehra hai,

Darr hai, kho dungi khud ko isme.

Yeh asmaan bohot tanha hai,

Yakin hai, paa lungi khud ko isme.

Hazaro saval puchta,

Hazaro jawab chahta,

Yeh teri ankho ka asmaan hai,

Yeh kuch nahi... sirf teri ankhe hain! 

  

          - vishruti singh

To the one who is one of the closest friend I have here, "meri jaan, teri ankhe mujhe sachi bot pasand hain... kbhi bta nahi paungi kyu.. bas jitta bata pai wo yehi hai"

Love u meri jaan!  

#iamvish

15 THINGS 2015 TAUGHT ME!

2015 has passed and we are today in the third day of 2016. 2015 in one word was a life changer. I gave JEE and then left FIITJEE and eventually my hometown too. I shifted to SRM University and started a hostel life, managing all by myself. In a constantly changing environment I made friends and co-founded my group ‘BUNKERS’ where I met some really nice peeps. Among all this somewhere I think I grew up from just any girl to someone mature and sensible. 2015 taught me a lot and I’ve tried to sum up all that here.

1.Success. If you want to succeed, there is no shortcut. Only hard work pays and a little of smart work associated with it will surely give you success. But it also taught me that, these entrances are all about 90% work and 10% luck.

2.Luck. Sadly, yes luck exists! L

3.Failures. Failures pinch you. But they change you, and that change is for the better. You meet someone inside you who is new and more enthusiastic about work.

4.Support. Family helps you, no matter how rotten you become.

5.Change. Ironically, there is only one constant, that’s change! And change may be bad or good but it’s always beautiful.

6.Friends. Old friends no matter talk less and meet sparsely but they are the one who will stand with you always, who will love you not for your money or commodities but for what you are within. Never forget or leave them for new ones.

7.Independent living. Living far from family is challenging for you need to manage the smallest of things. But one should surely live this life for some time as it teaches you to be independent for your big and small chores.

8.Money. Most importantly, it teaches you how to manage money and use it wisely.

9.Crowd. You’ll meet a bunch of people in a new place. Talk to all. Be polite to all. But don’t let everybody effect you emotionally. A little selfishness is necessary in this world to survive. You should know how to take work from people. ;)

10.Relations. Relations aren’t just made by blood. They’re made by love and care. Never consider their advice as irrelevant. [Bhai.. I love you. <3 ]

11.The gut feeling. Every person is blessed with an intuitive power, in general words a gut feeling. Listen to it. 

12.Competition. Competition is the only truth this world has. Be ready for competitions but don’t blindly run in a rat race. As Albert Einstein said “ Never judge a fish on it’s ability to climb the tree for it will always appear an idiot.” This task is difficult, but begin the search of your race asap!

13.Happiness. Nobody on this entire earth can make you happy if you don’t want to be happy. There’s only one person responsible for your happiness. It’s you!

14.Love. Spend time with people you love to. They don’t want anything, trust me!

15.Peace vs. righteousness. Sometimes it’s better to have peace than fighting for the right.

"HAPPY NEW YEARS FOLKS"

#iamvish

P08: A rainy day!

A RAINY DAY

The street light flickers and goes off,
But still a beam is seen
Coming from the little lamp burning
Inside a room, where I live.
The rain goes a bit violent,
Pattering increases on and on.
A lightning flashes and I look up,
Thunder echoes but still I'm gazing.
A small raindrop falls on my palm!
It disturbs my gaze,
I abruptly get up and enter my room.
Things appear still the same here,
Blue socks lie in the corner untouched;
And novels peek out from book stacks.
Again a raindrop I feel!
I am surprised, I look all over,
Searching for a piece of cloud
I see nothing.
In perplexity I peek out from the nearby window,
The roads are absolutely dry.
I ask my mom about the rain.
She looks at me in pain,
Holds my hand and puts me infront of glass
I then realise,
There wasn't a rain or a lightening
There wasn't any thunder too
Everything is perfect.
It's me who isn't.
Oh! I am crying...

#iamvish

WASTED!

Now I feel myself to be an engineer in it's real senses; for I consider myself wasted. It's ironical that we as engineering students never consider ourselves as something great. Guys come on! You are here to create stuff, isn't it too huge a compliment??

It has been one year since I started writing my blog. I am happy on it but i smile to myself on seeing that when i was technically no one i wrote far better. I wasn't this much wasted as today. What my college gave me till now or what i snatched from it was just luxury of not doing anything. I just wanted to rome around for 10 days and give cts for the remainder of days by....  yes 'mugging up'...  a thing which i never did in my life.

Now when i came back to my home, my room, i got reminded of all those things i did in past years when i was alone. I used to read, write, compose poems, even songs... I had that passion for giving myself the comfort i loved. Saddest part of all being that i became lazy at writing :(.  it was the only thing i was never lazy at neither dreamt of being lazy at ever.

So, after one year of starting this blog as a symbol of my passion for literature, i again get back to what i was... The book lover... The storyteller... The solitude loving person who would do the best in her nocturnal time. I want to go back to me! The real one! And I'll....  I'll!!! 

Challenge accepted!
I start again!

#iamvish